Bittersweet: Moving Can be Such Sweet Sorrow
By Cindy McDermott

Our family went through quite a change this summer. We sold our home in Maryland, packed up our eleven children and belongings, and trekked 1100 miles across the country to settle in a new home in Missouri. That one sentence makes it sound so easy! But the last four months turned out to be much crazier than we had anticipated. We are glad we made the move, but change often has a bittersweet quality to it. On our last day in Maryland, when the van was finally all packed, we were anticipating our trip and new home. But there was the last final walk-through of the old house. As I went from room to room, checking for missed items and residual dirt, each room sparked some memories.

After all, a house can hold a lot of memories after thirteen years. I started on the front porch. Thirteen years ago my parents took a picture of Jim and I standing here, in front of our brand new home. They had driven out from Wisconsin just to help us on moving day. We walked into this home with four children and today leave with eleven. I didn't know at that time how good God was going to be to us here. Next I walked into the foyer. Looking up, I remembered the peanut butter stain that had been there. I still don't quite understand the story behind that, but some things are better not to know. Turning right I entered the family room. How much activity this room has seen! The whole family would look forward to fires in the wood stove and hot cocoa on the really cold nights. In this room sat the toy box and rocking horse my dad had made. Many issues of SALT were written, edited, and printed here. And every year the discussion would take place as to what room the Christmas tree would be in.

As of late, this room didn't win that honor, but it saw its own share of Christmas morning chaos. And, finally, I remember nursing our baby in this empty corner the day we moved in. That baby is now thirteen. Today I nursed our newest baby in the very same place. As I made my way into the kitchen, I wondered how many floury messes have happened here. The Christmas cookies we decorated and the birthday cakes we baked - all with little helping hands. This dining room barely had enough space for the table that fit us all. Here we enjoyed feasts, talked over dinner, and did many a project. Birthday after birthday the walls were adorned with balloons and crepe paper. Yes, we are a party ourselves.

I glanced out the patio doors and remembered how big the yard looked when we moved in and our oldest was only six. Now the grass is torn up from all their rough-and-tumble football games. I remember making homemade piņatas and the kids bursting them over the patio bricks. Lately they have enjoyed hunting for Easter eggs back here. The trees have grown so big now that they dwarf the house. And I will miss my tulips. They were the first every year to remind me that winter was almost over and that we were stepping into spring. And now I find myself in the living room. Once upon a time it was called the "green chair" room because the little ones understood that better than calling it the 'living room'. That green chair is long gone but every once in awhile the name resurfaces.

Here we had family devotions, watched movies, homeschooled, and celebrated holidays. I bet someone today found some old Easter grass or New Year's confetti under the couches! As I wander upstairs and look in and out of the bedrooms, I remember that once upon a time one of these rooms was an office/guest room. But now they are all filled with children. The boys used to call their bedroom the "ugly" room until we painted over the drab gray with a more suitable blue. And how sweet it is to think about how we would set up the bassinet in our bedroom, waiting for our newest little blessing to be born. You almost hate to leave. But I know that it is not these four walls that have given us so many cherished moments. It is our God who fills our lives with meaning and with joys we surely do not deserve. But as I go from room to room, I also recall some not so pleasant memories, and moments that I'd rather not live again.

Even in those times there are lessons. Lessons of seeing God working, of protecting us, of paving the way and dealing with our problems even before we knew there was a problem. We see how much God loves us and how He fills our lives and days with His grace. So there is no fear in moving, for God is going with us and He does not change. His presence and kindness will be with us in our new home as well. Not only does He go with us, but He also goes before us - providing for us and preparing our way. As I close the front door for the last time, I say a prayer to God that He may grant the next inhabitants of this home the same meaning and richness He has so graciously given to us. Only God can make the bittersweet so pleasantly tasteful.